Why You Shouldn’t Make Decisions Based On How You Feel

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Whenever we have a decision to make we have to run it through our list of symptoms, our energy levels, what else may be going on that week that causes us to conserve energy, etc.

But the physical feelings aren’t what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about making decisions based on how we feel emotionally.

We all have times when we feel like we’re on the top of the mountain. The days when our symptoms feel like they’re being kept in check, things are going good and life seems pretty positive. We feel clear-headed. All that’s great, but I don’t believe that’s the best place to make a decision. Face it, we have our heads stuck in the clouds. We can’t see the valley floor below us or even the different aspects of the terrain we’ve already climbed over. We’re in a euphoric rush trying to convince ourselves that this time our illness is truly gone for good.

Then we have the times when we’re down in the valley. For most of us, this is the majority of our days. When we’re really struggling to get out of bed and we can’t see how life is ever going to get any better. From this vantage point, we can’t even see the peak and we’re certain we’ll never reach it again. All we can see is the rugged terrain that separates us from the summit. These down in the valley days are certainly not the best place to make a decision.

They say 1/3 of patients with chronic illness also have another diagnosis of either anxiety or depression. Those numbers represent an actual diagnosis but I believe the number is much higher. Most people I know that suffer from chronic illness also battle depression. Like me, they just may not have an actual diagnosis that is being treated with medication. Dealing with anxiety and depression on top of our other symptoms can turn decision-making into a stressful nightmare.

I think the best place to make a decision is when we’re right in the middle of the mountain – that “average day” place where most of our days reside. From here we can see the hardest days because we’ve just come through them but we can also see the summit. Even though we may not reach the peaks very often anymore, from the middle of the mountain we can still see where there have been some pretty awesome times in our life.

I’ve done both. I bet you have too.

I’ve made decisions from the mountaintop that I was, unfortunately, unable to carry out. I’ve had to cancel plans or pitch goals I’ve made due to the fact that I made them based on my momentary overly positive emotional state.

I’ve also made decisions in the valley. These decisions look more like dropping out of commitments or saying no to opportunities before the event even comes and I’ve had a chance to assess how I feel. The pity party arrives and I’m certain I’ll never be able to have an enjoyable day again anyway, so my answer is an immediate no.

So what do we do when we find ourselves on the top of the world or in the depth of the valley? How can we make a realistic, good decision that isn’t dependent on our current emotional state?

Picture yourself in the middle of the mountain. When you’re depressed and having those hard days you know it. When you’re on the top of the mountain, you know that too. Take a minute to picture yourself in the middle with stable emotions and logical thinking. Change the overly positive or overly negative voice in your head into your voice of reason. Remember, there are days when you’ll feel worse than you do at this moment, and days when you’ll feel better.

Never give an immediate answer. When you’re asked to do something or participate in an event, always let them know you’ll have to get back to them. This will give you time to make a well-thought-out decision without rushing into anything. It also gives you time to review your calendar and decide, based on other obligations that week, if you’re typically able to handle that type of commitment.

Life with chronic illness is unpredictable. Our daily life revolves around our limitations and guesses about our potential stamina.

It’s not easy.

But instead of setting up camp at the bottom of the mountain, focus on the manageable middle. Enjoy the good days and give yourself grace on the bad ones.

What do you do when you have a decision to make?

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