I hate the C-word. I really do. It took my sister away from me at the age of 44, my mother-in-law at the age of 56, and made my dad live his final years in a battle.
I hate cancer.
In November of 2015, a 23-year-old young woman named Breeana entered the hospital to see what was causing her sudden breathing problems, loss of energy and very rapid weight gain. After numerous tests and surgeries, they have received a diagnosis. Breeana has a rare, aggressive form of lymphoma. Her team of doctors has transferred her to Karmanos Cancer Treatment Center to begin her long, hard battle as an inpatient.
In July of 2015 Breeana and her husband, George, welcomed their first child, Sophia, and they became a family of three.
This wasn’t just another story I read on my Facebook feed and said, “Oh, that’s so sad.” and then moved on to other videos of kittens and grandmas falling into Christmas trees.
You see, I have known Breeana since before she was born. Her beautiful mama, Joelle, and I were pregnant with our girls at the same time. We attended the same church. There were six of us expecting in unison. One of those something-must-be-in-the-water stories. We’ve been friends ever since.
It’s so easy to see these stories and feel bad for those involved but when it hits in your own little world it’s different. It knocks the wind out of you.
I also hate the PH word.
I met my sweet friend Carla about 7 or 8 years ago. She had recently married my husband’s high school buddy and her and I quickly hit it off. You know, one of those easy friendships to fall into. Comfortable and close.
When Carla was pregnant with their youngest son she started to have difficulty breathing. After many tests, they diagnosed her with pulmonary hypertension. Basically, this is high blood pressure in the arteries in her lungs and the right side of her heart.
She has been on “the list” for a double lung transplant for some time now. Although she’s high on the list, she’s been passed over a few times due to height issues. The height of the donor and receiver has to be within 2 inches of each other. Twice she has received her call to report to the hospital, been prepped and ready to go – only to be told the donor’s lungs were rejected. The second time was last Tuesday.
I have two other friends that each have a sibling fighting a battle against cancer. It’s not easy for these families. Each doctor’s appointment seems to bring new treatment plans or bad news. Long-term financial stresses and trying to allow the children to keep a relatively normal life can be exhausting.
Then there’s been the news of senseless killings around the world. Also continued threats from ISIS that leave the world on edge but taking action. There are refugees seeking asylum – battles over how to help them while protecting the receiving nations at the same time. Then, our political battles are in full swing.
How do you keep going when the world seems like it's growing dark around you? #mentalhealthEmotionally, I’ve been left feeling angry, scared, determined, depleted, helpful, helpless, grateful, sad, and confused.
I want to beg people to pray for those I love. I know you have loved ones that you would beg prayers for as well.
I’ve prayed so often I think God’s just leaving the line open. I end my prayers in one area and the next comes to mind and we’re talking again. I’m so thankful He never grows weary of my prayers.
It seems like the world has been a bit darker and the glow of heaven so much warmer.
I want to think I encourage others a bit through this blog but last week I had no words. There wasn’t a holiday post or Facebook interaction that seemed to matter in the scheme of things. I couldn’t think of anything to say of any eloquence. My typing was futile, so I just remained silent.
But in my questioning God, He keeps reminding me of the bigger picture. (Yes, I’ve questioned why He allows some things. He’s big enough to handle it.)
John 16:33b In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
We may have these battles to endure while we’re on this earth – but the war is the Lord’s and HE. WILL. WIN. Revelations 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I wrote about it before, in this post and another one here. I don’t think God expects us to be thankful for everything but to be able to find things we are thankful for, no matter what our present circumstances are. These verses in Philippians say that in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
So amid the meetings with doctors, news reports of terrorism, and all the other troubles that come in this life, we’re supposed to remember to offer our thankfulness to Him along with our prayers and petitions. It keeps us focused on who He is and reminds us of all He’s done!
This heart of thankfulness isn’t reserved for a particular day on the calendar, but the timing this year has truly brought my heart some needed peace. Remembering who He is and what He’s done helps me remember He has ultimate control. And I can trust that!
