Sometimes You Have To Push Past The Illness To Get To The Beautiful

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Are you ever so tired, depressed, achy, and miserable that you feel the day is a total loss? Do you ever get so caught up in plans not working out that you fail to see the beauty around you? Is it ever worth it to push past the illness in order to find the beauty?

November of 2014 My husband, Curt, had to go to Kentucky and Virginia for a weekend to research a 200-mile hike he was going to take. He would be spending Saturday driving along the trail with a man who has been very instrumental in his planning.

We thought this trip could be research and romantic getaway wrapped in one.

Saturday was my ME time! I took some work with me and spread it all out on the bed. I clicked on the tv and immediately made note of where I would find HGTV, TLC, and FoodNetwork.

I was off to the races! I completed my entire TO-DO list by 2 p.m.!

We had texted throughout the day and I was excited about the amount of research he was getting done. Evening came and I didn’t want to seem pushy but I texted and asked when he’d be back. He responded with “after dark.” I tried staying positive and decided we’d still be able to run and get dinner.

He didn’t get back until 9 p.m. I had already changed into my pj’s and was feeling the sleepy effects of my evening meds. Our date night wasn’t going to happen.

I was disappointed but tried not to make this about me-this was first and foremost his trip. The romantic weekend was just along for the ride. He ran to Wendy’s to grab us a snack and I started to search the tv for a movie or something we could watch together and relax.

Then the phone rang. My daughter had been at a wedding and had arrived back home with her son to find the door unlocked. She was entering an empty house all alone with her son. It was after dark and she had determined the number of scary characters had taken up residence in our basement. She is so much like her mama!

There were a few calls to keep her calm. There was also a call to my son, asking him to leave his girlfriend’s house (on Sweetest Day) and go home to slay the dragons in the basement.

Now my weekend was toast! I lost it.

The tears came and at that moment the ruined dinner plans became a ruined weekend. The traveling that was all about my husband and his great adventure now became all about me and my great disappointment.

I’d love to say I came to my senses and redeemed the time quickly but that didn’t happen.

Sunday was spent with 11 1/2 hours of driving in the rain scoping out the rest of Curt’s route. The weather didn’t help my mood or physical health at all. I was achy after spending almost 48 hours with very little movement. My continued downward emotional spiral kept me from enjoying the weekend in any way, shape, or form.

I completely gave in to emotions that stemmed from boredom, pain, and weariness. I was so caught up in the plans-that-didn’t-go-as-planned that I failed to live in the moment and enjoy the trip for what it was. Togetherness.

The rain stopped and my husband made a turn onto a road that twisted up a mountain. We parked in a small lot near the top. Curt wanted to walk the short path to the top.

I had a decision to make. Was I going to fight all the weights that had my body and my mood tied down or was I going to push myself and try to do this with him?

I’m so glad I did!

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The pictures don’t do it justice, of course, but it was amazing. Beneath us stretched parts of Kentucky and Virginia. A rolling river danced its way between two mountains. The sunset had turned the tree-covered mountains into a kaleidoscope of color. It was breathtaking!

There are times we have to push ourselves past the pain, past our illness, and past the sinking weight of depression to get to the beautiful.

I’d love to hear a time you pushed yourself in order to enjoy something! Please share with me in the comments below!

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