How To Avoid Comparing Yourself To “Healthy” People When You’re Chronically Ill

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When you’re struggling with a chronic illness it can be so easy to fall into a comparison trap. We see the lives of other “healthy” people and sometimes we just can’t help but wish we had the strength, energy, or ability to do life the way we see them live.

When I was working, this time of year brought about a certain competition among the office staff. The goal was to see who could hold out the longest before they turned on their furnace at home. I was usually the first to drop out of the race.

I have to admit – two weeks ago I was still using my central air and yesterday I had to fire up my furnace for the first time. When my body gets cold my pain levels go up. On the contrary, when I’m too hot my energy drains. I try to keep my house around 72 degrees. That’s what works best for me.

And, you know what? That’s ok.  I need to manage the temperature that way. I can’t concern myself with whether or not others are using their furnace because I’m in my own home and need to keep my environment at a temp that works best for me. I hope others keep their house at a comfortable temp for them!

We’re going to walk into times of comparison every now and then, but we can’t stay there.

Here are three things to consider when you feel caught in the comparison trap:

• When we compare ourselves to others we waste so much time. Most of the comparisons aren’t anything we can change. Sure, our best friend might be an avid water skier but with our limitations, we won’t be putting on skis. Dwelling on the fact we can’t ski drains our heart and mind and is simply a waste of time.
• Dwelling on a comparison puts unnecessary stress on our bodies. When you have a chronic illness your body is already under a constant strain. Holding on to the negative feelings that come through comparison can cause your body to unleash stress hormones that will negatively affect your health.
• What we use to compare ourselves with usually isn’t accurate information anyway. I’ve found that the grass is always greener in someone else yard – because you’re not close enough to see the dead spots of grass where their dog pees. Ok, that might be a bit dramatic of an illustration but it’s true. We only see the Facebook-worthy posts (you know, the ones people think will net them more than 25 likes, at least!). Most people don’t share their daily struggles and trials with more than a few close friends.

Remember – We struggle with insecurity because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.

So how do you handle it when you get caught in the comparison trap? What’s your trick to get your thoughts back to a peaceful, purposeful frame of mind? Share with me in the comments below! 

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Here's a few more posts you might like:

How To Develop Healthy Habits When You’re Chronically Ill The Importance Of Play When You’re Chronically Ill When People Don’t Believe You’re Chronically Ill 8 Bad Habits To Avoid During A Flare