“It’s hard for people to understand that just because I’m not complaining, it doesn’t mean I’m getting better. It’s just that when you ask me how I am, I’m more likely to tell you how I am despite my disease, not because of it. I am more than that. I’m more than a sick person.” ~ Sara Frankl
The above quote really hit home for me. I used to I worry that if I didn’t tell my family how I was feeling they would forget I was still ill or in pain. After doing my best to keep my moaning and complaining at bay, I realized something – they still knew I was ill and in pain. I asked my husband one day if he knew I still fought my symptoms daily even though I didn’t continue to tell him. It was a relief to hear that he knew I was still suffering and didn’t think I was gradually healing. He knew I’d tell him if things improved. I wouldn’t be able to hold back that kind of news!
Changing the dynamic of my everyday conversations away from my illness and on to other parts of my life has been a gift. It’s made me feel like I have a piece of my old self back.
In Chapter 2 Sara goes on to explain how she doesn’t mourn the life she thought she’d have. She says our expectations can overshadow the good things right in front of us. How true!
When people make a five-year plan of their lives and expect certain things to come to pass, they never plan on bad things happening. You don’t see the words “Become Diagnosed With A Debilitating Illness” somewhere in year four. None of us would have asked for this to happen.
Being able to focus on the positives in her life, despite all she physically felt and endured, showed Sara’s amazing faith. Faith that God had given her other gifts she could use now that she was sick.
“I really think, in this life, we find what we are meant to do when we stop focusing on what we are kept from doing.” ~ Sara Frankl
In Chapter 3 you read an essay Sara wrote in response to a question by one of her blog readers. She was asked which was harder to bear – emotional or physical pain. As someone that lives with chronic pain, I have to say I agree with Sara 100% – we’d choose physical pain over-emotional. I had never considered which I would choose if I was given the opportunity but I agree with her.
Emotional pains wound the soul. They leave scars far deeper than any physical pain.
These aren’t just emotional pains we suffer from those that have hurt us, but emotional pains that come along with our chronic illnesses that leave us paralyzed. The pain of accepting life the way it is now, the pain of disappointing those we love, the pain of being left out, the pain of being a burden – pain.
I’ll end with this quote from Chapter 3.
“It’s only with faith that my emotions are in check – and only then can I deal with the physical hurdles in front of me.” ~ Sara Frankl
