Most of us with chronic illness have caregivers in one form or another. You may not even think of them as a “caregiver”.
For me, my husband, daughter, and son are considered my caregivers. They help me do the things I’m not able to. Others of you may have home care nurses or a number of other people who don’t live with you, but aid in your chronic illness journey.
The people that help us in our day-to-day lives deserve some care shown their way as well.
Here are 11 ways I think you can care for your caregiver.
- Be honest with what you need. It doesn’t help either of you if you’re not honest. We all wish others could read our minds and give us exactly what we need but that isn’t reality. Honestly verbalizing what you need and what you’re able to do is beneficial for both of you. Also, you need to be honest when your caregiver asks you questions about your medications or self-care. There may be a day when they need to communicate your regime and capabilities to a medical professional.
- When able, do something to care for them. Take interest in the things they enjoy. A large portion of their life revolves around your illness, show them you see them as more than a caregiver! Maybe let them pick the movie you’ll watch together. 😉
- Don’t depend on them for your happiness. Chronic illness can be difficult. There are days when you’ll seem to struggle to find happiness. Don’t put that burden on their shoulders. I’m sure they desire your happiness too but they can’t make that choice for you. For more tips to develop your own joy, you can follow along with our virtual book club Choose Joy by Sara Frankl and Mary Carver.
- Be thankful for your caregiver and tell them often! Tell them face to face, tag them in a Facebook message that tells how much they mean to you, or send them a personal thank you note. The days aren’t the easiest for them either, but a little gratitude can give them the energy and willingness they need to carry through.
- Give them a gift certificate for something they’d enjoy. Everyone needs some fun! Show them your gratitude by giving them a day off to themselves doing something they love.
- Figure out their love language and use it. Years ago my husband and I went through the book The 5 Love Languages with our Sunday School Class. It was really eye-opening. Since then I do my best to show my husband and kids that I love them by using their love language. If their love language is acts of service, telling them repeatedly how much you appreciate them doesn’t mean as much as fixing them their favorite snack.
- Accept their help. Don’t we all wish we didn’t need to depend on others? I sure do. But the reality is that I need them. When they offer to help, graciously accept it.
- Be open about your symptoms. It’s hard for a caregiver to know what you need or what they can do for you if you’re not open about your symptoms. If fatigue is dragging you down, tell your caregiver. That way they know what you need and how much you’ll need them that day.
- Allow them to be frustrated without taking it personally. Taking care of the sweetest person on earth can still be hard at times. Try not to take it personally if your caregiver is frustrated with some aspect of your care. The odds are it has nothing to do with you personally but everything to do with what they are trying to do for you.
- Respect their boundaries and schedules. If your caregiver has to be at work at 5 am in the morning don’t ask them to change the sheets on your bed at 11 pm. Think ahead and plan your needs around their schedule being careful not to consume every minute of their availability.
- Give them the understanding and patience you desire. Patience goes both ways. I know you want them to be patient with you, so you also need to be patient with them. As difficult as it may be, don’t take out your pain or illness on the other person. Try to view them as your teammate and not the opposition.
