In part one of our “No. Is A Complete Sentence” series we talked about our motives when it comes to knowing when to say yes and when to say no.
In this post, we’re covering the decision-making process of determining when to say yes and when to say no when you’re chronically ill.
We all want to say yes to relaxation, healthy habits, fun with family and friends, etc., but there are only so many hours in a day and so many spoons in our drawers.
So what do we do? Setting up boundaries is not an easy task! We take the time to think through our options and make a decision of what we will or will not agree to.
Here are 7 things to consider as you decide when to say yes and when to say no:
- Saying no because you just need time for self-care and relaxation is a VALID reason! I’m sure at some point you’ve heard the saying you can’t pour from an empty glass. Having white space in your day helps you to recharge which allows you to be a better friend, sister, daughter, wife, mother, etc. Saying no is hard, but running on empty is harder! Needing time for self-care is a VALID REASON to say no! #selfcare #chronicillness
- Stay true to your values, your beliefs, and your life goals. The first step to a purposeful, happier life is knowing who you are at your core. Your values are the compass that guides your life. Whether you realize it or not they are the cornerstone for our actions. Once you’re clear on your values and beliefs you’ll find it easier to say no to things that don’t align with those values. Saying yes to something you should say no to compromises your integrity and causes you stress.
- Look at your calendar and weigh the cost of saying yes. Every decision comes with a cost and a benefit. Will it put too much physical stress on your body which will, in turn, stop you from something else you have planned? Remember, overdoing it can force you into a few days of pain or increased symptoms.
- Saying yes to one thing means you have to say no to another. How you spend your resources says a lot about what you value. You can only be in one place at a time. Make sure that place is right where you should be and aligns with your principles.
- Is there someone else that could step up? We allow ourselves to feel responsible for too much. Of course, there are things that must be done. There is no doubt about that. However, few things must be done by a particular person. The majority of things can be done by multiple people. As a matter of fact, your “no” may allow someone else the opportunity to grow as an individual.
- If the only reason you’re saying yes is because of guilt and or a feeling of obligation you better say no. As a result, these commitments will only lead to added stress on your part because you’re doing something you clearly don’t want to do. This takes us back to knowing our core beliefs. Having a clear mindset of your values allows your “nos” to be connected to a deeper meaning and will give you peace that you’ve made the right decision.
- Saying no can help you avoid future resentment of the person asking. You’re the only one who knows what is best for you and your family and what other obligations you have going on. Therefore, you shouldn’t leave that decision to someone else that doesn’t have all the background info.
Would you like to dig further into this subject?
I’d like to suggest the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. It’s a great book and has helped millions learn how to set healthy boundaries in life and relationships! You can grab it on Amazon by clicking the link below!
