The floodgates opened last night. My husband and I went to bed and I just couldn’t seem to turn off the waterworks. There has been so much going on lately in our little world. I’ve had to deal with my grief that the month of April brings, a dear woman we know passed away at the age of 48 from a brain aneurysm, I’ve mentally struggled with symptoms of brain fog and inability to focus; I could go on. Everything seemed to be building to the perfect storm. So my tsunami of tears could not be repressed.
After my crying episode was over I was surprised at how much better I felt. None of the circumstances I had cried over had changed but somehow I felt stronger and like I could handle it better. I did a bit of research into why a good cry can be so cathartic for us and thought I’d share it with you today as far as it relates to our life with chronic illness.
“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” – Washington Irving
4 reasons to have a good cry:
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- It can bring us closer to one another. Too often we show how uncomfortable we are when someone else cries in front of us. Next time a friend has the strength to cry in front of you, don’t stop her. Allow her the time to cry it out. Don’t let your feelings of being uncomfortable at the moment stop her from the benefits it’s actually giving. Odds are they don’t expect you to “fix” anything but giving them a shoulder to cry on can strengthen the bond you have with each other. And if you’re the person crying, allowing yourself that level of vulnerability in front of someone who cares about you will allow them to see the depth of your grief/pain/etc. Crying in front of another person gives you a deeper appreciation for the mental and emotional being of that individual. It allows us a more intimate level of community.
- It helps you face your emotions, see where they’re coming from and move forward. In order to move forward, you have to face your emotions. It can hold you in the past if you haven’t yet confronted your feelings about your health. It’s normal to mourn the loss of your life as it was before your illness. Confronting those feelings and allowing yourself to sit with those feelings through a good cry will allow you to open yourself up to moving forward once the tears stop. Pretending the situation doesn’t exist or putting on an act that everything is fine only works temporarily. Coming to terms with the circumstances allow you to let go of that emotional baggage. A good cry helps you face your emotions, see where they're coming from & helps you move forward!
- It can flush out toxins from your body. Having a good cry can flush out toxins. A study by Dr. William H. Frey II at St. Paul Ramsey Medical Center found that stress-related tears and tears caused by irritants (like chopping an onion) are not the same. The tears flowing from emotion contain leucine enkephalin, an endorphin that adjusts pain levels, and hormones such as prolactin and adrenocorticotropic hormone that are released at times of stress. Emotions aren’t always logical but they can have a negative effect on your health. Bottling up stress increases all the stress hormones and cortisol in your system that can wreak havoc on your body. We have enough factors attacking our health! Let go of those stored-up stress hormones!
- It can actually make you feel better. Next time someone tells you to buck up and stop crying, that it’s not doing any good, be sure to correct them! It is definitely doing your body some good. A University of Florida study found that 88.8% of weepers noted that crying made them feel better. That is a more effective response than any antidepressant on the market.
